I've worked out

That I buy more crap when I'm unhappy.  A none too subtle attempt to fill a/the void in my heart and life.


I remain unhappy.


And my house is full of crap.


There has to be a better way.

I am

a)  Anxious.


b)  Tired.


c)  Unhappy.


d)  Procrastinating


e) all of the above

Back home - bring on the depressive funk

***SIGH****

Day 1 back home after the rather painful realisation that I've wasted several years on a nonsense relationship... camped out in some small town... fixated on some stupid career crap... and become old before my time.

Done nothing, travelled nowhere and now am all alone, having not made a new, NON-work friend since leaving university. (and let's face it, doctors aren't actually fascinating fun)

F*ck this.

Seriously.  What have I done?  

So I'm camped out in my stupidly large house trying to study for some exam.  So I can fill my life with more work.  In my small town.  No hope of doing anything social becoz I'm mostly at work OR don't want to meet any more doctors/allied health/2-degrees-of-seperation f*ckwits.

No way.  

I truly have become everything I abhored.