Nausea, Nauseating, Nauseated

I confess that perhaps, my resident and reg were right. I am nauseatingly enthusiastic.

Keen, as my resident would say. Keen keen keen, and all that said with bug-eyed, grit-teeth conviction.

I found myself excited abt the blood gas machine today in ED. The idea that colored printouts with acid-base graphs would come up was kinda cool. Very exciting. The idea that Rez and I were going 50% of the doctors available tonight was exciting too. But this was also 10am and I thought I'd have gotten some sleep after that.

It's now 5pm and I've slept 1.5hours. I'm sure to embarass myself tonight, if for no other reason then sheer fatigue.

I've been nursing a headache, referred from my clenched jaw and bruxism, for a day or so now. Somehow last week, I must have so happily gotten into the night grinding that I was unable to open my mouth fully for the pain come daybreak. Good grief.

I've come to the conclusion that my enthusiasm is directly proportional to my fear and dis-ease. Since I am always uncomfortable and nervous, I project as very excited and happy. It's a strange series of unfortunate coincidences.

This morning I also almost walked into my formed boss. The one who offered to by my fine jewelry. I was also already late. I wondered abt the justice in my life.

Gar.

I suddenly feel sleepy.

And enthusiastic.

Jaw hurts.

Keep your grandma at home tonight.